Contrary to popular belief, staying in love has little to do with “meeting the right person.” Most people who aren’t in a fulfilling love relationship have developed habits and/or behaviors that limit their possibilities for long-term love. We all know the first step in solving a problem is recognizing that it actually exists.
To start figuring out what’s holding you back from a successful, lasting romance, review the characteristics below and see if any apply to you.
- Bitter Babe: Believes there are no good catches out there and voices their disappointment often. The BB is unable to attract potential mates because their energy begs the universe for bad dating experiences, which is exactly what they get.
- Busy Bee: Too busy to prioritize love relationships. The Bee s always working, traveling, or on the go so they are unavailable for romantic phone calls, dinner dates, or leisurely activities that allow time for intimacy and love.
- Checker: Before considering romance, potential dates must fulfill every area on the Checker’s dream checklist – and even though their dates meet the checklist, it doesn’t work for the long-term because the chemistry just isn’t there.
- Coitally Challenged: Is unable to fully enjoy sexual intimacy and/or has issues that limit their sensual desire or ability to become satisfied and is unwilling to seek help.
- Contradiction: Wants someone with characteristics and/or behaviors they don’t have. They are overweight but looking for a thin person. They want someone successful but are not driven to achieve their own career. They want someone with lots of education although they aren’t educated. Or they want someone who exercises but they’ve never stepped foot in a gym.
- Down-Dater: Always goes for someone who doesn’t meet their dream standards and then is disappointed when the person doesn’t live up to their expectations.
- Doomed Dreamer: Sticks with someone who doesn’t have the qualities they want in a long-term partner. Despite evidence, the DD dreams their ‘date’ will magically transform into their ideal mate and eventually becomes disappointed when the transition doesn’t happen.
- Envious Observer: Is unbearably jealous of all potential mate’s interactions and relationships with others. Is paranoid that potential mate will find someone they like more and does irritating things like check their mate’s phone, email, etc..
- Friend Finder: Makes friends easily and has excessive friends of opposite sex which makes potential mates question their relationship standards. The FF allows potential dates to treat them as platonic friends or lovers, and doesn’t require explanations. The F.F. doesn’t have defined expectations of potential mates which gives the impression they will accept whatever their date wants, whether it be love, sex, or just friendship.
- Limited Lover: Spreads a little love to lots of potential mates simultaneously. To protect themselves from disappointment, the LL doesn’t focus on just one person at a time. As a result, they rarely get to know someone on a deeper level and their relationships rarely work out because potential mates become frustrated by their limited attention.
- Pressure Cooker: Needs to settle down as soon as they find a potential mate and applies intense pressure towards a long-term commitment. The PC scares away potential mates because their expectations become overwhelming too early in a relationship.
- Powerless Psychic: Embarrassed or unable to communicate their desires or needs to a lover and hopes their feelings are somehow conveyed without using words. The PP eventually becomes frustrated by their lover’s inability to meet their unexpressed needs.
- Single Selector: Actually enjoys being single but still enjoys dating others and having intimate relationships but is not looking to settle down for the long-term.
- Unqualifier: Doesn’t take the time to discover a mate’s unsavory issues (married, drug addict, closet eater,, alcoholic, psycho) until after they’re in love. The problematic issues usually kill the relationship, but only after feelings are involved.
- Unavailable Lover: Drawn to people who won’t or can’t commit. Attracted to those who have demonstrated their inability to settle down, and/or sticks with someone who has indicated they will never become their ideal mate. Although they have evidence to the contrary, The U.L. is hoping for circumstances to improve and believes their love has the power to change their object of affection.