Are you satisfied with your size?
Yep, I’m referring to the main male organ, but that’s not all we’re talking about. As an equal opportunist, it wouldn’t be fair to focus solely on heterosexual men. So today’s discussion will also explore feelings about the size of a woman’s special spot. And since straight sex isn’t the norm for many Miamians, we’ll analyze the impact of size on anal intercourse. Bet you can’t wait to open up this can of worms.
First things first – what did the people say? I did not find one person in Miami who thinks size does NOT matter. Many agreed that size wasn’t everything, and certainly not the most important aspect of good sex. However, every single person indicated that the size of the sex organ was a serious influence on sexual satisfaction. A 46 year old female love coach (yes, we all hang out together) living in Brickell said, “I used to think size doesn’t matter until I was with someone who was so small I couldn’t even feel him inside me. I think he had a micropenis.” Or perhaps she had an extra-large vagina? Either way, men and women in Miami claim the micropenis is much more common than you think.
A micropenis is exactly what it sounds like, a penis that is microscopically small. To be scientific, it is about 2.5 standard deviations smaller than the average penis and in most cases, works normally in terms of reproductive functions. This week, I spoke to three gay men and two heterosexual women who indicated they slept with a man who had a micropenis. I was so surprised because my social surveys are based on small convenience samples of whomever I happen to come across. Before moving to Miami, I never met one person who had experience with a micropenis and now I know five! One handsome interior decorator even called himself a mini-penis magnet, and complained of dating three different men with teeny, tiny, toys.
So, what does a guy with a super small soldier do? Until the late 1970s, many with a micropenis underwent gender reassignment. Yes, you understood correctly. They were injected with hormones and socialized as females. As you assumed, this was not a smashing success. Some grew up confused about their sexual identity and a few fellows ended up killing themselves long after everyone assumed they’d adjusted appropriately as females. Eventually the medical community recognized that gender identity isn’t easily altered and hormone therapy became the next course of action.
Nowadays, testosterone treatment is often administered to help a micopenis grow. This usually does boost growth but not enough to develop into a normal sized penis (which by the way is not as big as you think, but we’ll get to that later). Penile enlargement surgery is the next most popular option for the little guy that doesn’t grow big enough to prevent suicide in his master.
A spectrum of lengthening and widening surgeries are available for those with a micropenis and anyone else who isn’t satisfied with their natural size. From fat grafts to inflatable implants, most of the procedures involve at least two surgeries because after the penis is altered, pubic liposuction is recommended to makes the results look more noticeable. And of course you want everyone to notice your new look. Speaking of which, it’s important to realize that the head of the penis doesn’t change size during surgery. So your new look may reflect a wider or longer penis but the head will stay exactly the same size. For optimal results, stretching exercises are advised after the procedure and of course complications may occur. Loss of sensation, inability to achieve or sustain an erection, and uncontrollable hard-ons are common after surgery.
Men looking for a non-surgical way to expand their options have found limited success using penis pumps and stretching exercises. Pumps are easily available and basically act as a suction cup around the penis. Although many advertise that pumps enlarge the organ, researchers are still not convinced that it works wonders. Pumps are also pretty useful for male masturbation, so at least it’s not a total waste of cash if it doesn’t dramatically increase size.
Stretching is another alternative to enlarge the penis. Studies published in the International Journal of Impotence Research and the British Journal of Urology found that attaching an extender device on the penis to exert a constant traction significantly lengthened and widened penis size among men who were dissatisfied with their natural size. Like all exercise, a person must perform regularly to get results and the most significant changes were seen in those who stretched their mini-man most often.
I promised to stay balanced and have already talked too much about the male organ. So, the subject is switching to the size of the sweet space shared by wonderful women. Do the measurements of a lady’s opening impact a man’s opinion of her? Absolutely. Each heterosexual male I asked used their own special phrase to tell me that tight is right. A 35 year old computer whiz who’s in love with his lady said, “I don’t want to get lost in there.” Echoing the same sentiment, a hot 43 year old lawyer said, “It’s not the most important thing, but it does matter. You wouldn’t buy a suit if it was too big. You would get the size that fit.”
What impacts a woman’s size? Wear, tear, and lack of exercise. Excessive expanding caused by childbirth, exceptional erogenous activities, and aging muscles combined with inadequate exercise lead to a loose lady. Fortunately, women are made of strong stuff and we can tighten the muscles naturally through Kegel exercises.* However, some women remain unsatisfied with the size of their vagina and shell out cash for surgery.
Laser vaginal rejuvenation (LVR) is the most common plastic surgery procedure for the female genitals. It decreases the dimensions of the vagina and most women have the surgery to improve friction and sexual satisfaction. Although it’s an outpatient procedure that takes a couple of hours, the healing process takes about six weeks to complete. Constipation, limited mobility, and absolutely no sex should be expected during the recovery phase. Sounds like the side effects almost defeat the purpose of surgery. Not only are you unable to have sex, but you’re also stiff and full of crap. Who’s going to enjoy your new vagina now?
As you might have expected, among those who prefer anal intercourse, size was described similarly to that of a vagina. Bigger is definitely not better. Kegel exercises offer a natural way to tighten the toosh, but those with a loose butt and lots of loot may choose to stitch it up with surgery. Before going under the knife, be sure to learn about the side effects because nobody wants to hear constipation complaints from a tight ass.
I’m hoping a dose of reality boosts everyone’s confidence about their size. There’s no average size of a vagina because women are flexible and accommodating. When aroused, the vagina will elongate and the cervix will move out of the way to create more room. Men are not as unique. Researchers from the University of California found the average erect male penis is just 5.3 inches long. Almost 70% of men measured between 4.6 and 6 inches long. Just over 13% were between 6.1-6.8 inches long and only 2.5% of men were under 3.7 inches long. Less than 3% of men were over 6.9 inches. Remember this the next time a guys brags about his size. Does he actually think he’s bigger than 97% of other males?
Regardless of size, all men should remember that orgasms are not created equally. Many women prefer oral stimulation over penis penetration because they’re more likely to climax from cunnilingus. Naturally lubricated, the tongue is one of the body’s strongest muscles and also has great aim. This is very important since the clitoris is most sexually stimulating body part on most women and ignored by the penis during intercourse. So what’s the bottom line? Rather than worry about increasing size, guys who really want to win women over should strengthen their oral skills between her thighs.
*To learn more about Kegels, read my column, “ A Woman’s Workout” posted July 8, 2010 on the Sun Post website: http://www.sunpostweekly.com/2010/07/08/a-woman%e2%80%99s-workout/