Peer pressure impacts adults too. Especially, pressure to penetrate.
“My friend often has sex immediately after meeting an eligible man and when it doesn’t work out, she’s left feeling devastated. But she does it over and over again.” A colleague disclosed this situation to me last week, and it’s something I hear about far too often.
Not only is her friend left emotionally disappointed, but she’s also NOT experiencing her ultimate level of sexual pleasure. And what’s the point of having sex if it doesn’t fulfill your heart or your orgasmic potential?
You see, when someone engages in a sex act without feeling confident about the emotional connection with their partner, it’s nearly impossible to relax enough to experience optimal sexual satisfaction. I’m not saying you have to be in love, or even in like. But being in lust is good. And the most effective aphrodisiac is honesty about the context of the sexual interaction.
If it’s a one night stand, that needs to be clarified before the deed begins. If sex signifies the beginning of a monogamous commitment, that also needs to be stated, and agreed upon, before the condom comes out. If the intention is to establish a friendly fornication partner with no strings attached, there should be a discussion defining what the absence of strings means.
And if you’re ever feeling pressured to perform a sex act, or have sex without knowing where the relationship is going, be brave and express your apprehension to your partner. If their response doesn’t make you feel good, walk away. You deserve respect from your sex partner(s) and most importantly, you deserve to Respect Yourself. If in doubt, ask Aretha.
In Today’s Video
In this episode of the Hook-Up, Holly and I answer audience questions about pressure to perform a specific sex act and give a concerned Dad advice about buying condoms for his college-bound kids.
Press play now to get hooked-up with our answers to these important sex issues