Bare in Brickell
Who uses condoms in Miami?
I’m asking because HIV/AIDS rates in this town are among the highest in the Nation, and no one knows exactly why. Are tourists liberating from latex in South Beach? Are undocumented immigrants baring it all for an American wedding? Are locals just loose?
As an HIV/AIDS researcher with a doctorate and a handful of degrees from the best universities in America, I know how to conduct a scientific study to answer my question. But the research process has a way of forcing filters on subjective, yet meaningful information. A scientific study would point to objective factors that we already know increases HIV risk, such as poverty. Yet this doesn’t explain Miami’s sky-high AIDS rates. Many other cities have higher rates of poverty and lower rates of HIV.
From a very subjective perspective (that of a single professional woman living in Miami), I wanted to know about condom use among educated, employed people enjoying high-priced, happy hour cocktails. Since sexual risk-taking involves taking risks, I was interested in condom use among professionals having sex with a new partner for the very first time. Admit it. We’re most in love (read: LUST) before we know too many bad things about the object of our desire.
So last Friday, over cocktails at a trendy Brickell bar, I conducted a social, subjective, survey of convenience. Specifically, I asked five men and five women, “Have you ever had sex for the first time with someone without using a condom? If not, can you think of a circumstance where you would?” The hypothetical framing of the second question was my brilliant boyfriend’s idea. As an attorney, he knew that if the question was posed hypothetically, people would be more apt to respond truthfully. As it turned out, responses to this part of the question yielded the juiciest information.
“Yes, and I would again if she wasn’t a drug addict or a prostitute,” said one fairly handsome, salt-and-pepper haired, federal prosecutor who appeared to be in his late 30s-early 40s. His friend, another federal prosecutor who was a bit older, chunkier, and less socially inclined, giggled and said, “only with my sister.” Friend #3 was in the same line of work and a bit more suspicious of my intentions. Like a hostile witness, he actually began asking me questions, like, “Have you?” and “Why do you want to know?” He wouldn’t stop grilling me until I recited my theory – which, by the way, is that most folks don’t use condoms consistently, regardless of socioeconomic status.
I think the educated and economically secure have the same sex risk behaviors as the poor and impoverished. We just dip into different pools and have access to healthcare which means we can get an infection diagnosed before it mutates into a more dangerous condition that is easily transmitted. In many cases, we have the means to be “cured”. People without access to care may not know they have an infection for a very long time, which in turn increases the likelihood they will infect others in their pool of sexual partners.
Eager to prove myself right, my attorney/boyfriend/research assistant jumped in to recruit study participants while I tried to communicate warmth and trust as I asked strangers about their sexual history and condom use. Surprisingly, after an initial giggle and look expressing, “are you serious?“, most people were quite willing to discuss their bedroom behaviors. Well, they were willing to discuss their ‘hypothetical’ behaviors – which most participants eventually admitted were a real part of their sexual history.
While no one flat out refused to participate, a few contenders were just silly and unable to provide a meaningful contribution. In addition to the quirky prosecutor described above, another joker also said the only person he’d had unprotected sex with was his sister. Every study (scientific or not) needs some exclusion criteria. Hostile, incomplete, or ridiculous responses were excluded from our data set.
Of 10 professionals surveyed, only 1 person indicated that they never had sex without a condom during their first sexual experience with a new partner. This person was a man. You guessed it: 4 men and 5 women at a Brickell Bar on a Friday night admitted they had sex with a new partner for the first time without using a condom.
One gorgeous man in his late 20’s indicated that he only had unprotected sex during the first encounter with women he initially knew as a friend. I asked, “How did you know the last person you did this with?” He responded that she always hung out at his bar and she was always there whenever he arrived. He finished his sentence with, “She was like a nun.” That surprised me because 12 years of Catholic school conditioned me to recognize a nun hiding anywhere, and I’ve yet to run into one at a bar, much less flirting with Miami’s version of Ashton Kutcher.
A 30-something year old couple told me they had sex for the first time with each other without a condom. Of course they knew each other before embarking on unprotected sex, which made the encounter seem safer. She was dating one of his friends and they consummated their relationship after they got drunk one night when his friend wasn’t around. Sounds safe, huh? Before we walked away, she whispered in my ear, “Don’t do it without a condom because you give up all your power. Make him use a condom.“
My next participant came from a gay man who is in a “semi-committed” relationship. In his words, this means “Yes, he’s like my boyfriend but I see other people when I want. We don’t live together. Nothing has been formalized. I see him 2-3 times per week.“ I asked if he’s ever had unprotected sex, and unlike the other respondents, his laugh was not a joke. In this situation, my question was so irrelevant, it made him seriously laugh. “Of course I have! How many times a week, honey?” He went on to explain that as long as ejaculatory fluids are not exchanged (my words, not his), there’s no risk of disease transmission. He finds potential partners online and has experienced several different partners (for the first and last time) within a couple of days. Sometimes multiple partners are involved and rarely are commitments established before intercourse. Some partners are married so he sends a cab to pick them up and drop them off at discreet locations. I asked, “Does your boyfriend know?” He replied, “We don’t discuss those things.”
Compared to above, the remaining responses seem mild, if not tame. Every woman indicated she knew her lover through a casual friendship or work relationship before having unprotected sex with him for the first time. The only male who responded he would always use a condom was a restaurant manager who was married to a waitress but flirting with the gay guy I previously interviewed. He was flirting so seriously (lifting his shirt so gay man could touch his six pack), I questioned whether or not he was heterosexual. Given this observation, it’s good to know he’s advocating consistent condom use.
It’s worth noting that the first federal prosecutor interviewed did ask what I do for a living. When I responded that I was a medical school professor, he looked at my boyfriend and said, “I wouldn’t use a condom with her either. I bet you didn’t.”
So there you have it. About 90% of my convenience sample (professionals paying double figures for a drink on Friday night) are doing the deed without condoms during their first sexual experience with a new partner. I no longer wonder why 1 out of every 108 residents in Miami-Dade County are living with HIV/AIDS and 1 of every 5 people with HIV don’t even know they’re infected.
HIV/AIDS is no longer a death sentence. Medical advances have transformed the disease to a manageable condition and many people are living long, healthy lives. Know your status. Know your partner.
Reflecting a genuine understanding of sex risk behaviors in our beachside enclave, the “Test Miami” initiative was launched last year to promote routine HIV testing, improve Miami residents’ understanding of HIV, and reduce HIV transmission. These are goals we can reach as a community. The first step is for everyone to get tested to know your HIV status. If you’re infected, treatment is available and you can live. Anyone in the State can call 1-800-FLA-AIDS to find a free testing site. More information about the “Test Miami” initiative is available online at: http://www.dadehealth.org/hiv/HIVservices.asp.
Tags: brickell, precautions to prevent the spread of hiv, spreading hiv, unprotected sex
